Breatheintolove’s Blog

the ‘feeling’ of ‘knowing’…

July 10, 2010 at 11:28 pm (Uncategorized)

There are certain things I know…

I know Love is always here and  always present. I know there is nothing I can ever say or do to make it go away. I know the only things that get in the way of that infinite and unconditional Love are the IDEAS that it is not really real… that I don’t really deserve… that Love and Joy are somehow irresponsible… that Love is out of accordance with the seriousness of Purpose… that unless I am suffering and doing everything on my own I am somehow undeserving or less than… that I am really not that loveable, to be loved unconditionally, without condition… how could I be? With all my stuff of past and present, with the moments of worry or impatience  or projection or mistake or frustration or doubt or holding on tight or trying too hard… surely I need to clean things up, take care of all the stuff  before this kind of love will really be there for me. Take care of this or that and then, yes then, one day, the gates of paradise will be opened and I will be worthy of passing through them. Wait until the time is right, for this piece, and then that piece, and then that one after that…  one piece at a time that I am waiting to fall into place in a puzzle that may never to be done. Never done. Never complete. One reason after another that insists I am incomplete, the waiting game for all the pieces to be perfect that never ends.

I know all these ideas that get in the way are directly opposed to Love. I know the only power they hold over me is my willingness to buy into them. In all the ways they are infinitely convincing and seemingly legitimate, the brilliance with which they hone in on my Achilles heels around worth and survival and fortify the walls around my heart through notions of fear and shame and suffering,  promising to protect while simultaneously stifling the unparalleled, transformative Force that is ready to pour and shine through, I know I can consciously choose how I interact with them at any time. I know that every choice I make to do things differently, no matter how I may be being urged  not to, no matter how unfamiliar and frightening it may seem, is bringing Heaven to be experienced as reality here on Earth right now.

All these things that I know… I teach them… I believe them… and yet it is only when I feel them that I sink deeper into vastness and the knowing expands.

I can be and act different. I can be vigilant when it comes to the old stories and make choices that I would never have made before. If fears about survival are present, if I am wondering where in the Hell the next check is coming from and how all the bills will get paid, yes, I can reach for a different thought, a different way of being, one that uplifts and inspires and is infused with well-being, yet it is only when I connect to the why of it…. the fact that there is so much love and I am a part of it… that full presence is revealed.

Humbled, grateful, awe-filled, feeling and letting myself go and open to the love present in all of me. The heart is the key to the doorway I have been searching for.

With the the sweetness of relief all the fighting and holding on and trying so hard falls away; Grace moves and Nature dances and I feel the fiery touch of the Divine fill my heart as a whisper that says… Yes my Love. I am here.  I always have been and always will be. I am here and there is nothing you have ever done or ever can do that will make me go away. However much you squirm, however many reasons you come up with to keep me at bay, I am still, always, here. Ready for you. Waiting. Come my Love. No more excuses. Be with Me. Be.